We were away for 5 days, we came home and it was such a nice feeling…until I realized we left in such a rush that I didn’t get a chance to clean the house. I had 2 friends coming to visit in the afternoon, 2 friends I hadn’t seen since my university days, 2 friends who hasn’t seen me much with kids and my own home. So I sat there deciding to let them see my house in a disaster, or cleaning to make it look like it was amazing.
I will be very honest, I am NOT a good housewife. I am not a good cleaner. Dirty dishes don’t bother me like they do others, although I am getting like 2% better. I am not the type of person who cleans up right after dinner. Okay I am lazy, you caught me. My house is usually the cleanest when I have guests over, especially when they don’t have kids or are new to learning the disaster I live in. But this particular afternoon I was tired and wanting to chill out with my kids. My girls wanted to do their hair and paint our toenails. I was torn because of the expectation I was putting on myself to make the perception of a perfect home.
So I cleaned up a bit to take it from actually just gross to ‘good enough.’ I let my kids have a bath (their favourite activity of life) while I cleaned the sink and toilet (I turned around to both my children emptying my shampoo and conditioner) and vacuumed a bit while they ate lunch.
Something I learned was its a terrible idea to vacuum the floor while they ate…. First they looked at me with utter disgust with the lunch option I provided, proceeding to pass their plates back and forth hoping the other one ate more and they could be done. Then my 1 year old spread humus over the entire table and the peed on the floor (we are potty training.)
So basically after cleaning the floor I ended up worse off with a puddle of pee and 2 full lunches on the floor and 2 still hungry children.
Actual footage from my kitchen floor AFTER I vacuumed…-->
It wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough. And I think that’s okay. Then we got the time we wanted of being happy to be home, painting our nails and enjoying our afternoon.
*Side note and revelation since the original time I posted this.... I have learned the concept of: DECLUTTERING! It is saving my life and sanity. I didnt realize how much anxiety all the clutter around our house was giving me, and since I started getting rid of things we literally dont need, it is giving me a freedom in my home I have never felt. Also it is making cleaning up SO much easier because there is less stuff to clean--but that is seriously an entirely other topic!
There is so much judgement out there these days in the ‘motherhood world’ (don’t even get me started on non parents perspective, they would probably die if they saw my house some days.)
There is also so much advice.. ‘Leave the dishes and make memories’ well Ihave said it before and I will say it again, my kids have become accustomed to eating off plates, so there has to be some middle ground here….is ‘good enough’ a middle ground some days?
I truly think ‘good enough’ can be all you can do some days, and we need to start allowing ourselves to be okay with that, and stop judging other moms ‘good enough’ days.
With young kids our house will never be perfect, and moms whose houses are, have secret super powers. There has to be balance between keeping the house somewhat intact and making memories with your kids. Where is that balance? I don’t know, I have yet to find it. Some days I feel like I have got it and other days I fail over and over again.
So my challenge to all the other mama’s out there is to be okay with your ‘good enough days’ and don’t put the perception of perfection on yourself. The second challenge is to cut other moms some slack, and accept their ‘good enough’ days too.
But whatever you do, always remember #thestruggleisreal